Emotionally Drained

We had Baileyanne's developmental pediatrician appointment this week. We only go twice a year for a checkup and every time, I am anxious and full of anxiety, worried about what he will tell us. This time was no exception.

He observed her for about 20 minutes, asking her different questions, and to perform different tasks. She wrote her name on the chalkboard and drew a picture of herself. She labeled the picture princess Bailey. what a ham! He then asked how she was doing in school and we talked a little bit about that.

We then had the opportunity to ask him some questions. We asked him about her episodes of biting on the wall each night in order for her to fall asleep. She stopped this for a long time though just started up again about a month ago. She also chews on our footboard while watching videos in our bedroom. We got to talking about this and the doctor told us that she has NO idea that she is doing this. He pulled out his handy little diagram of the brain and explained to us that there is a part of the brain in an Autistic child (one of the lower portions - can't remember what is is called) that is numb and not fully developed, therefore she does not know and does not understand what she is doing is wrong. She is unaware of what she is doing when she is doing it..... so, when she is in bed at night, while trying to fall asleep, she is unaware while biting through the sheetrock. This was VERY hard for me to grasp. You mean she has NO idea that she is biting the wall I asked. The doctor explained to us that her brain is focused on one thing, though is doing another..... so, all of this time, we have been punishing her for biting the wall. I asked him if there was ANY way that we could train her and make her understand what she is doing is wrong and he told us no. I disagree. I know that he is the doctor though I truly believe that she can learn that what she is doing is inappropriate. Do you mean that when she is on the playground at school and puts a whole mouthful of sand in her mouth and starts chewing it, she has NO inclination what she is doing?!?! We had more bloodwork done to test again for PICA. we did this several years ago though he wanted to followup this visit. what an ordeal that was! she got blood all over her t-shirt and would not sit still. I got a little distraught and tried to keep my mouth shut during the whole conversation... anyway.... the whole biting on the wall led us to another discussion. He then asked us what time she goes to bed and how long this whole biting thing is occuring everynight. we told him what time we put her down and what time she actually falls asleep each night. she plays in her bed and then ends up knawing her way to sleep each night. He told us that she is not getting enough sleep at night and that needed to change. She usually sleeps from about 9:30 - 7:15. we wake her up each morning and it is like waking a bear from hibernation, almost impossible. I thought that 9 hours was plenty for a 7 year old. The doctor seemed to disagree. we are now on a new med called Clonidine. A Blood Presure medication used with Autistic children to help them sleep at night, in turn they are less stimulated during the day and able to focus more at school, etc. I am not at peace about this. Dan wanted to try it and it seems to be working. I went in last night to tuck her in and she was out. we are drugging our daughter and I hate that! It kills me to know that we are medicating her to help her sleep better at night. I am going to give it a few weeks and pray about it. I just don't feel good about it. When he said blood pressure medication, my heart just dropped. she is already on the Luvox which is working wonders though to add one more thing to her tiny little body makes me cringe. Anyway... please pray for us, for me that I can trust that what we are doing is right and also, trust the doctor and his advice.